Love my friends!

Today was rough, rougher than most.

At times I find myself sinker deeper and deeper into this state of pity...

why isn't my life as awesome as I had planned.

When I look at it honestly, 

there were times when I gave up what mattered most

out of fear that I would fail.

I think that has always been my issue,

half-hearted attempts begin 

once I've gotten a clue that 

"this shit will take work".

And it really isn't that I dislike work,

its more that I fear that all the effort will be in vain.

It's like that with my friends as well,

I disengage once there is something deep inside

that begins to scream, this will be a waste of your time.

Today while chilling at my pity party,

my phone rang and I missed it.

When the call was finally returned,

I heard his voice grow more with laughter,

felt us both smiling as we talked trash about this PhD process.

And at some point I found myself grateful.

Grateful that I had met him,

so grateful that I had taken the time out to nurture the friendship,

so very grateful that when I failed to do so he made sure the nurturace occurred.

As my phone died in the middle of the conversation...lol actually 2 hours in

I found myself undeterred by its quick ending,

for I knew for a fact, in a few months

a similar discussion would begin.

When I typed to him on facebook, 

a note apologizing for the abrupt end,

he replied with this...

"Lol--that's what I figured! Love you lots!  

I told(his boyfriend)--either her phone died or she

had to go to the bathroom really bad

and she just hit the 'end' button. Or, maybe both "

I couldn't help but start laughing...oh how I love my friends

but more importantly, 

I love how they so open show their love 

and total  acceptance of me!